As I walk down one of the oldest, most beautiful streets in Paris, I ponder how it has now become the very center of Paris. Paris has greatly expanded from what used to be the city wall centuries ago and where the Jewish people were forced to live. I wonder about all the change that the people of this street have seen over the many years. You see, forcing the Jews to the city wall centuries ago has not brought lasting peace. Pushing them out of the city center was driven by people who felt threatened that they would not have enough. This is the fear state that we all create - each of us in our lives - when we don’t realize we are seeking our security from the outside.
Fear is our protector - our part of the brain (the amygdala) defending what it wants, in order to be safe. This is an automatic response expressed as our Ego, whenever we are triggered. Shuffling what is outside of ourselves to be happy, and safe is never the answer. Controlling the outside is a temporary fix to experiencing inner love and peace.
I believe that all people most want safety, connection, and love. Trying to change what we can’t really control is what keeps us from creating what we desire and brings inner suffering. We exhaust ourselves and end up with the result we don’t want! But the coolest thing is if we decide to be the change, instead of resisting what is, we create peace and joy. In fact, energy rises when we decide to be the creator of our life, regardless and in spite of people and situations. When we let go of being the controller of people and circumstances, change is then possible within. Awakening to being the creator of your our own precious life brings freedom, love, and contentment. Staying in our lane, while providing a space for others to do the same is abundant love for all.
We are the power to be the change that inspires others. We have the opportunity to cultivate self love each time we notice our fear statements (defensive reactivity) and choose a kinder thought. To shift out of this reactive state: stop, breathe and notice what you are believing. Accept yourself right where you are at. Then ask: Is this belief serving me?
The conflict that we see in the world also happens in our families, and boardrooms, because we are not owning the conflict we create inside ourselves. The only way to a different result is to look within.
The fight to be right, to have, and to control is based on ego. It is defensive, closed-minded, and disconnected. Love is the opposite. Love is welcoming, expansive, curious and connected. Love is the opposite of fear. Loving self is the means to loving others. Hatred outside comes from hatred within.
If we seek leadership that is built on trust and love - the place to start is by being radically responsible and looking at how we are the change. My joy is in sharing tools that have transformed the lives of countless leaders who are committed to this change! What does that commitment look like? Noticing our thoughts, breathing deeply, pausing and making conscious choices. This is transformational leadership.
Creating the life/work we most want is possible! All things are possible. We do have the power inside. Join me on this journey to being peace and love! 💜
Exquisite Leader. Exquisite Life